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JOKES, vol.1JOKES, vol.2Blondes JOKESMore Blondes JOKESPuzzle Game
Read love articles here:
Doc Love (Recommended!!)The RoMANtic column
BLONDES JOKES, volume 1
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q: What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
A: Interpreter
Q: Why are all blond jokes one liners?
A: So men can get them too
Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.
Q: WHY ARE BLONDES SO EASY TO GET INTO BED?
A: Who cares?
Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
A: They're doing research on black holes.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.
Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!
Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.
Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Maple Leafs?
A: She fell out of the tree.
Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A: A thought.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A: Divorced.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
A: Thanks for the refill
Q: What do a blonde and a bowling ball have in common?
A: You can pick them up, throw them in the gutter and they still come back to you
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday?
A: Tell her a joke on Friday
Q: How does a blonde lose five pounds?
A: She takes off her make-up
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: They can't get their head in the jar
Q:Why did the blonde throw bread crumbs into the toilet?
A:To feed the toilet duck
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A: Blow in her ear
Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ears
Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it
Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her
Q: How do you drown a blond?
A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool
A2: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool
Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings ?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't They're born that way
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them
Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff
Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her
Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once
Q: Why do blondes write TGIF in the bottom of their shoes?
A: To remind them - Toes Go In First
Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it
Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks
Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A1: They can't remember the number
A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the 11 in 911
Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
A1: The dumb blonde - because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde
A2: None of them, two don't exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper
Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted
Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations
Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change
Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor
Q: What do you call a smart blond?
A1: A golden retriever
Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light
Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says - I won her in a raffle
Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: Six please. I could never eat twelve pieces
Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart?
A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own
Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?
A: She turned it over and used the other side
Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet
Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?
A: It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night
Q: Did you hear about the blond that was treated at the emergency room for a concussion and severe head wounds?
A: She tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungie cord
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood infront of the mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN?
A: She didn't know what ONE came first
Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A: Because they can spell it
A2: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!
A bunch of blondes were driving to Disneyland. They're almost there when they see a sign that says "Disneyland Left" So they turned around and went home.
Q: Why are blondes like spaghetti?
A: They both squirm when you eat them
One blond was in a cornfield rowing a boat. Another blonde came up and said "It's blondes like you that give us a bad name and if I could swim I'd come out there and kick your butt"
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: How do you know when a blond's been in your frige?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Throw her mirror out the window.
Q: What does a blonde and a computer have in common?
A: You don't appreciate either one, till they go down on you.
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?"
Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
Q: What nickname is most used by blondes in order to boost their popularity?
A: B.J.
Q: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet?
A: She thought it was diet coke.
Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
Q: What is the first thing a blonde learns when she takes driving lessons?
A: You can also sit upright in a car.
Q: What's the definition of a metallurgist?
A: A man who can tell if a platinum blonde is a virgin metal or a common ore.
Q: What is the difference between a new blonde and an old blonde?
A: Vaseline and Poli-Grip.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a walrus?
A: One has whiskers and fishy flaps, and the other is a walrus.
Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
Q: What does a blond say during a porno?
A: There I am!!
Q: What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?
A: Marriage.
Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde whose boyfriend say that he loved her?
A: She believed him.
Q: What do you call a blonde without an asshole?
A: Divorced.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q: What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
A: Interpreter
Q: Why are all blond jokes one liners?
A: So men can get them too
Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.
JOKES, vol.1JOKES, vol.2Blondes JOKESMore Blondes JOKESPuzzle Game
Read love articles here:
Doc Love (Recommended!!)The RoMANtic column
